Happy Monday to you my friends! I have been having a Chat with the Lord this weekend, and this is the Convo…
Discipline or Lack Of…
I have realized that I must begin to discipline myself to post here first and then allow myself to peruse other Social Media. I have been letting myself get swallowed up in looking at other people’s work, photography, mixed media, mono printing, painting, bible journaling, etc..everything that I want to do and have the supplies to do, yet I am spending my best hours seeing other people do those things and my frustration with myself is growing exponentially which in turn saps my energy and round and round we go.
Ownership Lost to Lack of Discipline.
My words and my work are floating off in the Never Land of ownership of others. FB has the right to do whatever it wants with what we post…unless we bring it in from our own websites, so why, oh why, do I keep posting directly to FB instead of my websites? Habit, routine, laziness…probably all of those things, but bottom line it is a lack of discipline. On Sunday I posted the most beautiful Morning Glory that I have done to date and why did I post it there instead of here, I must be crazy. Well I know I am a bit crazy but it is really a lack of discipline in my life right now..I keep meaning to get around to posting here more frequently…but, I find myself on every other SM site instead. I am sorry that I have done that to you and to myself. How can I build blog friendships if I neglect them? Can’t, can I? That darn word again…Discipline.
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11 -Truth!
See, isn’t that beautiful? Morning Glories remind me of my grandmother and how much she loved me. She was a living, breathing example of Christ’s love; it touched the hardened, bitter heart of an unloved, un-cared for little girl. I struggled and fought the Lord for half of my life, hurt and embittered by “Christians” for so many years; I swore off church, if that was what it was all about then NO Thanks! But that is not what it is about, all Christians are broken people, who do not have it all together and I have learned that those people who hurt me as a child could not possibly have had the true, pure love of Christ in their hearts and that makes me feel so sad for them. Christ’s call to us is to serve Him, to take up our cross and give up our lives so that He can heal our wounds and give us a new life in Him; a life ALIVE with promises. (My Sunday devo spoke to me of that)
But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive.
1 Corinthians 15:20-22 NIV www.biblegateway.com – My Daily Devo Link
We must discipline ourselves to seek Christ in everything, (I am reminding myself) it is so easy to get sidetracked by our wants and dreams; so easy to allow ourselves to be hurt by others. Realizing that the “Church” and “Christians” are human and just as susceptible to sin and error as anyone; and letting go of the hurt instead of packing it into our hearts and minds where it festers into bitterness and poisons US!
I am confessing right now, to you, that I was struggling with that this weekend…ok, really for quite some time now; little insignificant hurts that I shrugged off over and over, bigger hurts that I thought that I had given over to Him, have built up into a wall of resentment and frustration; and as the Lord and I talked about it, he showed me that the real target of these feelings is not those “people” but Him. I am angry with Him! Facing that as I typed I was overwhelmed with the knowledge that the God of the Universe loves me and He is not turned away by my anger, He does not stalk off in a pout; He loves me unconditionally. He is saddened that I have again let things pile up in my heart and mind instead of daily bringing them to Him to heal and calm. He has not rejected me, but He cannot heal things that I will not give to Him, as long as I retain possession he can do nothing about them or the state of my heart; we are not puppets as I once thought I would be if I believed (teenage rebellion excuses), we are free agents who can choose moment by moment how we handle the things of this world. We get to choose what we give to Him, all or nothing sounds like what it has to be, but in reality I often only give him bits and pieces, planning to handle the rest myself; after all, He is really busy with the universe and all those billions of people; He does not need to be bothered by my “insignificant” little problems, right? Wrong!! Big LIE..none of my problems are insignificant to him, especially if they keep me from him.
Lies I Have Believed for too long!
No one loves me, If my own father doesn’t love me why should anyone else? Because my parents did not care, no one cares, I am not worth bothering with, I will never have a “good” life (ie..right house, right car, exotic travel destinations).
Big lies that the enemy whispers in my ear when things happen, lies that I thought that I had overcome years ago are trying to worm their way back into my head and heart. The truth is that the only one I have to worry about loving me is the Lord! He and he alone is the only one who can heal my hurts and love me unconditionally; others fall short because they are human and have their own hurts they are dealing with.
The God of the Universe whispered the words of Jeremiah 29:11 to me years ago, before I even knew what Jeremiah 29:11 even said…why can’t I keep my eyes on that instead of the static noise the world pours out? Because I took my eyes off of Him and put them on myself and the hurts inflicted by others. For some reason we can begin to be deluded by “The American Dream”, the upwardly mobile track of having more, doing more, the lie that if we are the Lords we will not face hardships, the lie of thinking that people are thinking you are less if you have less. Letting someone else’s lie touch your heart.
(For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.) Jeremiah 19:11
Part of the problem is that we don’t read the before and after of that verse, we read that we are going to be prospered, have hope and a future for the great American Dream! But that is not the thing we are to fix our eyes upon! No, our eyes need to be fixed on His face and our heart tuned to hear His voice and direction…That my friends is prosperous, hearing His voice, knowing His heart; that leaves the right subdivision, right car, right clothes in the DUST!! What are those things that we would cling to them when the hope of our future (our eternity) is in Him.
(12. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”)
I was carried into exile when I allowed my heart to be hardened as a child, when I refused to give it up to Him and allow him to heal and deliver me from the sin of bitterness, anger, rebellion. I belonged to the Lord, he has always been a part of my life (thanks to my grandmother and grandfather), I just refused to do it His way. I am so very thankful that He does not throw us away when we misbehave! He holds onto us, whispers in our ear; Oh, if we would just listen for that still small voice and shut our minds to the lure of the world and all the noise that bombards our heart and mind.
Thank you Father that you do not give up on us, that you offer Grace and Mercy at every turn; you welcome us back into your arms at our slightest turning toward you! I praise your Holy Name!!
If you are struggling with hurts, anger, resentment, bitterness – visualize yourself pouring a toxic poison into a cup and then drinking it..why, why would we drink poison and expect other people to be hurt by it? Lie, lie, lie…hanging onto resentments and hurts only poisons us and those we love the most. Forgiveness applied immediately is the only cure! Choose to forgive – let go of the lies that your feelings and emotions are telling you! Forgiveness IS A CHOICE, it has nothing to do with emotions or feelings, emotions are wounded, feelings are hurt and they lie to us. Even those little bitty hurts that we brush off can poison our hearts if we do not bring them to the Lord with forgiveness readily on our tongue. Excuse me now while I go and meditate on the things that I have been holding back and stuffing so that I can feel the love and excitement that is offered to me when I am obedient to Him!
I know that the word Discipline will be showing up again in my posts as that seems to be a real weakness in my life right now that needs change ASAP! Please forgive me if I sound like I am preaching..I am..preaching to myself!! I get so excited when God reveals these things to my heart that I can’t help but share them!
Praying the love and blessings of the Lord is poured out into your heart, mind and life!
My grandmother still speaks to me through her poetry! You can click on the pic or click on the link up top to see my daily photography posts.